Unconventional teachers: what children can teach us about life, learning, leading and everything else I - Unfiltered Honesty: The Power of Open Communication

One evening, my mother stepped out in a new outfit, feeling a bit unsure. She asked me, her 6-year-old son, "How do I look?" With innocent bluntness, I replied, "Mom, that dress is funny. I like the blue one better." My mother paused, initially startled by the critique. But she realized her son wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings – he was simply being completely honest. She changed into the blue dress (which she secretly preferred anyway) and felt more confident.

This small moment illustrates how children often speak unfiltered truth. While it can sting, it also fosters clarity. You always know where you stand with a candid child. In relationships, that honesty – delivered without malice – builds trust. In the workplace, open communication and transparency are equally vital for healthy teams and organizations.

Children haven’t yet learned the art of the white lie or the corporate jargon that obscures meaning. They express their emotions directly and resolve conflicts quickly. Adults, in contrast, often shy away from difficult conversations or sugarcoat feedback, which creates confusion, mistrust, or resentment. Adopting a bit of a child’s unfiltered honesty – tempered with adult tact and empathy – can transform workplace culture.

Psychological research supports this. A Harvard study found that children behave more honestly when adults express trust in them. This parallels workplace dynamics: when employees feel trusted by leadership and honesty is rewarded, they are more likely to act with integrity. Trust begets honesty, and honesty begets trust.

In contrast, when honesty is discouraged or punished, people learn to hide the truth. We’ve all heard of companies where bad news was swept under the rug until it became a crisis. Research from Deloitte and the American Psychological Association confirms that transparency builds trust, reduces stress, and increases engagement.

Companies like Buffer and Bridgewater Associates take transparency to the extreme. Buffer publishes salaries and internal emails; Bridgewater records most meetings and encourages radical candor. These cultures are intense but effective, reinforcing the idea that honesty fuels performance when paired with mutual respect.

Of course, unfiltered honesty must be balanced with emotional intelligence. The goal isn’t to blurt out, "This report is awful!" but rather to say, "I have concerns about this report. Could we improve it by doing X?" Kim Scott’s concept of "radical candor" captures this: honesty plus care. It's the grown-up version of a child saying, "You’re being unfair!" but with empathy and professionalism.

Harvard’s Amy Edmondson found that teams with high psychological safety – where people feel safe to speak up – perform better. Pixar’s Braintrust meetings exemplify this: candid, constructive feedback is the norm, not the exception. It’s honesty, focused on improvement, not ego.

Practical Strategies for Fostering Honest Communication:

• Model Honest Communication from the Top: Leaders who admit mistakes or ask for input set the tone.

  
  

• Establish Channels for Truth to Surface: Use anonymous feedback tools, town halls, or skip-level meetings.

  
  

• Frame Honesty Positively: Thank employees who report problems or share critical feedback.

  
  

• Practice Active Listening: Encourage and normalize feedback at all levels.

  
  

• Leverage Tools for Transparency: Use shared docs, OKRs, and meeting notes to keep everyone informed.

Honest workplaces feel refreshing: trust replaces suspicion, and problems are addressed, not buried. While honesty must be paired with professionalism, its consistent practice builds stronger teams and healthier organizations.

As one employee put it, "It’s scary at first, but it’s a relief. We put it all out there and deal with it."

Coming Next: Curiosity Breeds Innovation: Encouraging Questions and Exploration